Get Some Real Face Time
On a busy corner in Rangiora two retired farmers catch up most mornings on their favourite bench for a bit of a chat and some laughs. It’s the kind of socializing we should all be doing more.
Words: Pattie Pegler. Photography: Dorothy McLennan
On a busy corner in Rangiora retired farmers Malcolm and John catch up most mornings on their favourite bench. It’s well positioned for the sun and with a convenient bit of concrete that avoids muddy shoes.
“We’re the last of the summer wine,” laughs Malcolm.
“People keep asking ‘have you booked into Ryman’” says John, “But I say why? There’ll always be new spaces popping up there”.
There’s plenty of laughs and banter on the bench but the pair also like to watch the world go by and frequently get people waving and saying hello to them as well as dropping off the occasional gift of muffins. Although Malcolm and John rib each other like old friends, their friendship was forged on this bench just six months ago and has quickly become a habit. “And now, well, it’s good to know the other one has got up in the morning,” says Malcolm with a grin.
This daily meet up maybe brief - a bit of chat and light-hearted humour to start the day – but it’s the kind of interaction that can make a difference to health and happiness. Whether it’s a chat with the neighbour at the mailbox; a catch up for coffee with a friend or a full Sunday lunch with every relative you have – social connections matter. Plenty of research has shown that good social ties can reduce health risks, speed recovery from illness or injury and lower incidence of anxiety and depression. And even weaker connections like a quick chat with an acquaintance we bump into at the supermarket can boost our sense of emotional and social wellbeing. But sometimes making connections requires a bit of a push.
Reaching Out In A New Community
When work-from-home mum Jacque Bloomfield moved from Belfast to Mandeville she realised that her interaction with her new community was very limited and living rurally there were few options for just bumping into people.
With a business to run and a blended family of 8 children, Jacque admits “I am not somebody who has a lot of energy to go out and make new friendships. But as a mum working from home, you need some chat and you learn from people. I just feel we all live in our little pockets out here and I thought it’d be cool to see if there were some other mums out there doing the same thing”.
So she posted on the local Facebook group asking if any other local, work at home mums would like to meet up. Pretty soon she had 17 women booked for lunch at the pub in Mandeville. The event was a hit with more than one person commenting to her that they had thought of doing something similar.
“I’m very pleased I arranged it,” says Jacque, “We are going to go for a monthly lunch/catch up and it was suggested that we do a Friday night picnic at the park with our children in the summer months”. With one Facebook post she has triggered off a series of meet ups and sparked new connections in the community that will spread a little happiness.
A Common Lifestyle
For long term Ohoka resident Niki Mealings, it was a desire to learn and share knowledge that got her to set up a local meetup for lifestyle block residents. When she saw people on Facebook asking questions about how to do things on their lifestyle blocks she thought it would be a good for them to get together. She floated the idea and was overwhelmed with enthusiastic replies. The first meeting, 18 months ago, saw 35 people turn up in the flesh.
The group now gets together once a month in the Ohoka hall to chat about everything lifestyle block related and Niki also arranges expert speakers so that attendees can ask questions and get some expert answers. “The face to face meeting gives people the chance to meet other local like-minded people and network together, make friends, and learn new skills,” says Niki. This kind of spontaneous chat can lead to all sorts of interesting experience and knowledge being shared and new friends being made.
Just Be Friendly
If starting groups or reaching out to new friends on social media isn’t for you, don’t worry. It can be much simpler than that. Back on the corner in Rangiora, John recalls how he and Malcom became friends.
“He was sitting on the bench and made space for me, and he was sociable and so I was sociable too”.